SKIRMISHER

• Earthrace: around the world in a boat fueled by human fat.

• The woman named “Mary Christmas” can’t stop hating her parents.

• Hindu priest commits suicide with the promise of return within 72 hours. The police make sure priest’s return would be “spectacular, like Bollywood” by burning his body to ashes. Hey, Hollywood, are you listening?

• 77-year-old Robert Schoof found a way to spend Christmas eve stuck upside-down in the opening of his septic tank.

• Because there’s always somebody ruining the supposedly perfect picture moment.

• Kombatan/Kombotan: whatever the hell it is, this incredible Filipino martial art can crush Chuck Norris’ balls while blindfolded .

• The second annual Bubble Wrap Competition for Young Inventors. Now you can show your awesome bubble-wrap skillz.

• Publishing company Zondervan pimps out Bibles. Because all that plain text is just so boring.

• Who killed more people in the Bible? You know the answer.

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