SKIRMISHER

* Got any question for Al Qaeda, like how do they exactly fuck their pet goats? Ask away!

* Think sex hurts? Here’s the alternative.

* Meanwhile, in Vancouver, dogs can read.

* Tod Browning’s 1932 movie, Freaks. More freaks than you ever thought possible.

* Top 10 things Christians and atheists must agree on.

* “A student’s grandmother is far more likely to die suddenly just before the student takes an exam, than at any other time of year.” That, and dogs suddenly eating your homework.

* Man pees on a fence, fun-loving puppy passes by, sees the man’s penis, and does to it what it does to every little cute toy it encounters.

* “This Dorito is brought to you by your friendly neighborhood UFOs.”

* Former Nasa scientist John Billingham wants humans to stop trying to contact alien civilizations because those mofos might just want to eat us.

* Yanadi Kondaiah used to claim that those who touched his “magic” leg would be cured of illness or have their wishes granted — until somebody actually believes him and cuts off and steals his leg.

* The “Wormorator,” a toilet that uses worms to produce compost, is cool, but never forget the worms’ sensitive feelings.

* A dollar for the first dude who finds the child in this picture. Two dollars for anyone who can find these people and hugs them out of sheer gladness until their bellies pop and their little fat-covered bones snap to pieces.

* Santas in skimpy Speedos running down the street.

* Hryhoriy Nestor, 116, oldest human being, has just stopped growing old.

* Somebody burned $500,000 just to get the cyborg skeleton from Terminator 2: Judgment Day.

* Kerry Lee’s topless pictures.

Stumble it!