SKIRMISHER

The designers and manufacturer of the classic Erotica phone sincerely believe that there’s only one thing men want to do their entire lives, and that’s a vagina. And when they’re not doing a vagina, they will want to talk to a vagina in their spare time. Hence, the Erotica. There’s even some suited dude demonstrating [...]

Never resting to cook up even more creative ways to care for the things they deeply love, Japanese inventors made these USB breast warmer, because nothing’s more important than sufficiently warmed breasts! If they’re not warm, who would want them? You just plug this pad into any USB port on your computer, stick the pad [...]

Meanwhile, in the 1970s, when people were not having sex, or watching TV, they play board games, like this:
The exciting new indoor sport for people who love people. Orgy begins by choosing up sides (delightful custom) and centers around the “Porron” (translation: “to pour it on) filled with your favorite libation. Object of the game [...]

This video contains Chinese girls with inexplicably big boobs… inexplicably, that is, until you see that little air pump button.

Thoughtful enough to actually issue a “disclaimer” that basically says “This doesn’t fucking work,” the makers of this dinosaur-shaped condom thought “Hey, what should we give to crusty old sexual fossils?” and decided the literal answer is the best answer. I know some people who would kill to have this on their wang.

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A German company called Vivaeros has launched a scent, Vulva Original. Nope, it’s NOT a perfume, just the “irresistible smell that exudes from a sensuous vagina.” Apparently, there’s a healthy consumer market consisting of people who want their fingers smelling of “sensuous vagina” all the time, anywhere they go, or wherever the need for a [...]

Life gathered 30 really dumb inventions, probably to point out their sheer dumbness. Like this curved barrel machine gun [below]. Yeah, it’s designed to do exactly whatever hilariously deadly shit you’re thinking.

More here.

Boobie Scarf: the best thing you can give grandma this Christmas.

A bottle of Christ Blood, 750ml of French Cabernet Sauvignon with a decent 13.5 percent alcohol content.  It also contains sulfites, because back in the time of Christ, they didn’t know how to remove them.

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Bev Hisey, Toronto textile artist, has created quite an interesting group of carpets for home interiors… Dirty Dishes.  Not your left over chicken bones, broccoli spears, or potato skins; no, we don’t want to see that…  Hisey’s Dirty Dishes are hand-knotted, all-wool representations of magnified deadly bacteria and viruses on petri dishes.
Below is the beautiful [...]

The up-coming book Wine Opus, which is actually just a list of the world’s top 100 wineries is going to be released in 2010, with each copy priced at $1 million fucking dollars.
Oh, BTW, each copy comes with 600 bottles of wine from said wineries. Order now!

[hot drunk girls: the only reason why wine was [...]

Now you’ll always be able to find the toilet paper, even in the dark, with this new Glow in the Dark Toilet Paper!
Perfect for power cuts, this groovy glowing loo roll means that if you don’t want to wake anyone up in your household by turning on the light, it’ll cast its green glow over [...]

Personal urns are a new and exciting way to memorialize your loved one.
Now we can create a custom urn in the image of your loved one or favorite Celebrity.
New advances in facial reconstruction and 3D printing have made it possible to have an urn made in the image of anyone from just a photograph.
Never forget [...]

Book lovers everywhere have resisted digital books because they still don’t compare to the experience of reading a good old fashioned paper book.
But all of that is changing thanks to Smell of Books™, a revolutionary new aerosol e-book enhancer.
Now you can finally enjoy reading e-books without giving up the smell you love so much. With [...]

A Japanese company called Nakabayashi is selling a 600-kg machine that turns used copier paper into toilet rolls, right there in the office, at a rate of two rolls per hour produced from 1,800 sheets of A4-sized paper. The machine is very very cheap — only $95,000, roughly equivalent to three men in a donkey [...]

Developed by Koreans for the Japanese, Boong-Ga Boong-Ga is the first arcade game that combines of assaulting assholes and fortune-telling. You select from eight characters like “Mother-in-Law,” “Con artist,” and “Child Molester” and then, steel yourself for this, you ram a giant plastic finger into an ass that protrudes out from the arcade unit next [...]