Video of a mini-cannon. Which is an actual working cannon, only mini. That shit works.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wi4g_U0hoOg[/youtube]

Because any job that requires a tie deserves to be slept through.

Product page.

Your valuables seem not safe unless they’re in this specially designed “Brief Safe.” Horror and disgust– human feelings normal people share with burglars — are what is working to your advantage here. And BTW, that really looks like shit.

Product link.

Never resting to cook up even more creative ways to care for the things they deeply love, Japanese inventors made these USB breast warmer, because nothing’s more important than sufficiently warmed breasts! If they’re not warm, who would want them? You just plug this pad into any USB port on your computer, stick the pad in your bra, and that’s it — warm boobs! Why wear a sweater when you have this USB breast warmer, right?

link

Meanwhile, in the 1970s, when people were not having sex, or watching TV, they play board games, like this:

The exciting new indoor sport for people who love people. Orgy begins by choosing up sides (delightful custom) and centers around the “Porron” (translation: “to pour it on) filled with your favorite libation. Object of the game is to see which team achieves the longest trajectory for the longest time with the fewest spills.

This video contains Chinese girls with inexplicably big boobs… inexplicably, that is, until you see that little air pump button.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtIcedRcIk0[/youtube]

Thoughtful enough to actually issue a “disclaimer” that basically says “This doesn’t fucking work,” the makers of this dinosaur-shaped condom thought “Hey, what should we give to crusty old sexual fossils?” and decided the literal answer is the best answer. I know some people who would kill to have this on their wang.

link

A German company called Vivaeros has launched a scent, Vulva Original. Nope, it’s NOT a perfume, just the “irresistible smell that exudes from a sensuous vagina.” Apparently, there’s a healthy consumer market consisting of people who want their fingers smelling of “sensuous vagina” all the time, anywhere they go, or wherever the need for a whiff of healthy pussy strikes them. We already wrote about this a couple of years ago, but this new link has pics!

Life gathered 30 really dumb inventions, probably to point out their sheer dumbness. Like this curved barrel machine gun [below]. Yeah, it’s designed to do exactly whatever hilariously deadly shit you’re thinking.

More here.

A bottle of Christ Blood, 750ml of French Cabernet Sauvignon with a decent 13.5 percent alcohol content.  It also contains sulfites, because back in the time of Christ, they didn’t know how to remove them.

link

Bev Hisey, Toronto textile artist, has created quite an interesting group of carpets for home interiors… Dirty Dishes.  Not your left over chicken bones, broccoli spears, or potato skins; no, we don’t want to see that…  Hisey’s Dirty Dishes are hand-knotted, all-wool representations of magnified deadly bacteria and viruses on petri dishes.

Below is the beautiful Cholera bacteria-adorned Dirty Dish carpet.

link

The up-coming book Wine Opus, which is actually just a list of the world’s top 100 wineries is going to be released in 2010, with each copy priced at $1 million fucking dollars.

Oh, BTW, each copy comes with 600 bottles of wine from said wineries. Order now!

[hot drunk girls: the only reason why wine was invented]

link: “wine book“

Now you’ll always be able to find the toilet paper, even in the dark, with this new Glow in the Dark Toilet Paper!

Perfect for power cuts, this groovy glowing loo roll means that if you don’t want to wake anyone up in your household by turning on the light, it’ll cast its green glow over your bathroom, so you can find your way around.

[because wiping one's crap-smeared ass clean, always, is next to Godliness]

link: Product page

Personal urns are a new and exciting way to memorialize your loved one.

Now we can create a custom urn in the image of your loved one or favorite Celebrity.

New advances in facial reconstruction and 3D printing have made it possible to have an urn made in the image of anyone from just a photograph.

Never forget a face. Personal Urns combine art and technology to create a family heirloom that will be cherished for generations.

[may soon be available: sex face, with tongue action]

link: Cremation Solutions