You Can Blast Us But You Can’t Hurt Us

On December 7, 2007, in We're Not Making This Up, by JB

We're not makig this up* Zetix, a novel blast-proof super-strong fabric that can withstand multiple blasts, is so amazing we’ve just peed in our pants.

* “In A Stunning Development, Telling Horny Teenagers To Save It For Jesus Proves Ineffective.” There’s no way we could have topped that brilliant headline.

* So which part of “rhino poop for sale on eBay” confuses you?

* The non-hopping, tree-climbing great, great, great grandaddy of the kangaroo. Meanwhile, their wonderful fart might save the planet from global warming.

* The poor get poorer because the System is being controlled by an anal-retentive reality TV show judge.

* It’s this HIV-positive, midshipman-sodomizing Navy chaplain’s turn to get it in the ass, hard.

* American senator wants people to use the “sex offender radar” so they know when to flee.

* McDonalds is now just one step away from actually choking kids to death with a Happy Meal.

* Now there’s a new, compelling reason why you should buy Nintendo’s Wii: doctor’s prescription.


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