SKIRMISHER

* Every responsible dude knows that without the mind-calming effect of beer, pet goats are just so annoying.

* Five things about breasts you wish you knew before last night.

* School wants a green Santa Claus because the red one reminds them of Coke.

* The Wenger giant Swiss army knife, painstakingly designed to match the size of your balls.

* Lambert, the ill-tempered, angry lion chases cars in Ohio because dogs stopped doing it.

* Chinese girl Ren Xin is having her extra arm removed because it’s so useless it can’t even scratch her back — even if it’s on her back! [with photo]

* The excuse you always hear: “I swear I didn’t do it! It’s those thieves! They steal my buffalo and they stop and think ‘hey, we still have time and we’re not afraid of getting caught. Let’s stay a while and shove this Pepsi bottle up this old man’s ass.’” [with photo]

* Which sounds better: “chicks with guns” or “armed cute coeds?”

* The Temples of Damanhur: an astonishing underground temple built by eccentric Oberto Airaudi, who would have just gone down in obscurity as some crazy old fart if the temple wasn’t so amazing. [with photos]

* Here’s your last chance to buy stuff before the Buy Nothing Day!

Stumble it!