SKIRMISHER

* The winning label in the 11th annual “Wacky Warning Label Contest” is “Danger: Avoid Death“, zipping past the more deserving “Don’t throw the yo yo at people!”

* “W00t” joins the mainstream.

* Celebrating the World Cup like a real man.

* The day F1 champion Michael Schumacher showed a taxi driver how to arrive at destinations on time.

* What is better than cloned cats? Cloned cats that glow red in the dark.

* Man cuts off his own testicles in prison, now screams like a girl.

* TV can raise blood pressure of fat kids — even if they don’t actually eat it.

* Woman sends man the text message: “Let’s have fun. Go to my house. But come naked.” Man strips naked and enters house — the wrong house, that is.

* The Undertakers Association declares war on fun, launches “Death TV”: all death, all the time.

Stumble it!