SKIRMISHER

If you’re a devout believer of all things nice and naive, the sexual antics of the cult Children of God (Family International) will probably drive your brows insanely knitted. Take, for example, the group’s “Loving Jesus” doctrine.

The Family describes the Loving Jesus teachings as a radical form of “bridal theology.” It is their understanding of the Bible that the followers of Christ are his bride, called to love and serve him with the fervor of a wife. They take bridal theology further than other Christians by encouraging members to imagine that Jesus is having sex with them during sexual intercourse and masturbation. Male members are told to visualize themselves as women, in order to avoid a homosexual relationship with Jesus (male homosexuality is an offense warranting excommunication).

While this may destroy your appetite and may make you look at Jesus never in the same light again (especially if you’d click this link to a list of “dirty talk with Jesus”), know that we’re posting this in our dedication to the unloading of weird-ass crap. So enjoy.

Stumble it!