SKIRMISHER

When Thomas Aloysius McCarney was told to “get out and meet people,” what the naughty god of all lonely people lit up in his head were the compelling words “Latex! Handcuffs! Donkey!”

Now the guy’s facing a number of unfunny charges that all point to that night in a hotel room where roleplaying as Mr Shrek with the amorous help of a real live donkey went awry.

Supt John McBrearty told the court that Mr McCarney who had signed in as “Mr Shrek” had told hotel staff that the donkey was a family pet and that this was believed by the hotel receptionist who the supt said was “young and hadn’t great English.”

Receptionist Irina Legova said that Mr McCarney had told her that the donkey was a breed of “super rabbit” which he was bringing to a pet fair in the city. The court was told that the donkey went berserk in the middle of the night and ran amok in the hotel corridor, forcing hotel staff to call the gardai.

McCarney was found in the room wearing a latex suit and handcuffs, the key to which the donkey is believed to have swallowed. He was removed to Mill St station after which it is said he was the subject of much mirth among the lads next door in The Galway Arms.

via DVORAK UNCENSORED

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