SKIRMISHER

In Tatarstan in central Russia, a woman died 10 years ago. Her son, some guy who felt too lazy to bury her, locked her body in the attic.

So years went by and the man became so busy that he forgot about her. Girls came and broke his heart and left. He’d spend afternoons picking his nose in his garden that undulated with daisies. There were old cows leisurely emptying their bladder in the grass. Neighbors noticed a strange smell, but who would think it was the woman’s corpse silently rotting away? So they passed by and smiled and said, “Howdy!” In Russian, of course.

Until one day, brave policemen stormed the house looking for stolen goods. What they found instead were (come on, let’s sing altogether now!): Pillows! Oilcloth! Blankets! Mummy! Yeah!

And the man lived happily ever after — but not after saying stupid things like, “I thought burying the dead was optional?”

via MOSNEWS

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