SKIRMISHER

Naegleria fowleri, a killer amoeba living in lakes, enters the body through the nose and attacks the brain where it feeds until you die.

Though infections tend to be found in Southern states, Naegleria lives almost everywhere in lakes, hot springs, even dirty swimming pools, grazing off algae and bacteria in the sediment.

Beach said people become infected when they wade through shallow water and stir up the bottom. If someone allows water to shoot up the nose — say, by doing a somersault in chest-deep water — the amoeba can latch onto the olfactory nerve.

The amoeba destroys tissue as it makes its way up into the brain, where it continues the damage, “basically feeding on the brain cells,” Beach said.

And you know what’s better than an invasion of brain-eating killer amoebas? It’s the invasion of brain-eating killer amoebas energized by global warming — which is exactly what this shit is.

[Continue reading and shitting in your pants]

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