SKIRMISHER

Jennifer Mee, 15, of St. Petersburg, Florida started hiccuping on Jan. 23 — and it went on for the subsequent five weeks at a rate of 50 times a minute, abruptly stopping only last Wednesday.

She saw an infectious disease specialist, a neurologist, a chiropractor, a hypnotist and an acupuncturist. She tried a patented device that is designed to stop hiccups, plus all the old remedies. Her mother called the media two weeks ago to try to find more help for her daughter, who ended up on NBC’s “Today” show.

Common sense dictates that if only Jennifer went out to see any competent deep-throat blowjobologist (we have contact numbers of good Samaritans in this very demanding medical field who would have been happy to volunteer), she wouldn’t have had spent those five weeks cursing an uncaring Creator for not giving women their own penis to cure their own hiccups.

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