SKIRMISHER

US Energy Secretary Samuel Bodman has a clever proposal. To solve the US oil crisis, he says, let’s use the fat sucked out of obese patriotic Americans.

“Unlike the flesh of those dinosaurs, who turned into oil 6,000 years ago,” Bodwell explained, “human body fat is a totally renewable energy resource. All we have to do is collect it from patriotic Americans who don’t really have a use for it anyway.”

Bodwell proposed a farsighted, pervasive program that would de-regulate liposuction, taking it out of the hands of price-gouging licensed medical practitioners and making it available, without charge, at gasoline filling stations.

“This program naturally fits the lifestyles and needs of our people,” Bodman said. Americans want to eat, they want to be thin, and they want to drive their cars and heat or cool their houses. Fat is fuel. Why waste energy walking it around when we could suck it out and use it to solve our energy problems?”

Funny guy, that Mr. Bodman. But I think he actually makes sense; if Tyler Durden could do the same stunt in making pricey beauty soaps rendered from the fat asses of society matrons, why couldn’t the rest of the real world?

If Mr. Bodman’s really serious, maybe he should set a shining example by liposuctioning the fat from his scrotum and using it to power at least ten houses in Texas.

via THOUGHT MECHANICS

Stumble it!