SKIRMISHER

The man who was wearing Disney’s Tigger costume apparently landed a hard punch on the face of a teener, causing permanent psychological trauma to all witnesses 10 years old and younger and sending Disney’s high-flying executives to their mascot factory to yank out the fingernails of those characters who wouldn’t confess.

It’s just another episode to an endlessly riveting but occasional saga of Mascots Gone Wild featuring disturbingly normal human adult behavior perpetrated by cuddly made-for-your-kids-and-mousepads furry characters, like Jollibee and Porky Pig. Maybe it’s really hard not to crack under the pressure of trying to be nice all the time. This latest screw-up might force Disney to greenlight the proposal to put everyone in Disneyland in an all-expense-paid alcohol habit, as the resulting drunken swagger will look good on the characters and effectively hide the fact that they actually hate their lives and their jobs and that fucking Disneyland muzak.

via LOCAL6

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