SKIRMISHER

Jamie Hanson, a disabled woman in Wisconsin and owner of formerly living pets, is now asking herself very profound questions after her two pets tried immitating a Southpark episode that resulted in third-degree burns and maybe some sessions with the therapist.

The drama began when Hanson’s cat knocked a candle, which starting burning her house. The dog saw it and brought her a phone, which Hanson used to call for help. As the two pets both died in the said fire, it’s a tricky matter now to answer the relevant question: Where’s the goddamn dog, and why did it also die?

We’re left imagining that perhaps after giving Hanson the phone, the lifesaving dog then faced the diabolical cat, which turned out to be Kevin Spacey in disguise. And as everybody knows, you don’t survive Kevin Spacey.

via DALLAS

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