SKIRMISHER

Captain Dan The Demon Dwarf was taken to hospital when he became stuck to the the machine after misreading superglue instructions.
The 42-year-old pulls the vacuum across the stage with his manhood at the Edinburgh Fringe production.

Its attachment came loose before a performance so he tried to glue it back on.

He left it to dry for 20 seconds rather than 20 minutes – and it stuck to him when he tried it out.

‘It was the most embarrassing moment of my life,’ he explained. ‘When I got wheeled into a packed A&E on a wheelchair with a Hoover attached to my willie, I just wished the ground could swallow me up.’

Oh, other people had it really worser.

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