SKIRMISHER

1. You see hundreds of dorks in white suits and dunce caps running on streets at night, don’t blink or take it personally. Yeah, it’s normal. Like life.

2. A condom in your car can save a whole wedding, so stock up!

3. The rubber can be chewed like bubble gum. Which means you can use bubble gum in place of the condom. Pretty neat divine wisdom.

4. A glow-in-the-dark condom in the jungle can save your life.

5. Umbrellas can be your best friends.

6. We can’t stress this more: Be ready, be ready, be ready!

7. Walking around with a box of size-extra condoms can fill that huge void of manliness in your heart and can get you laid.

8. Love can shut up an angry, reckless penis.

9. Children is a form of divine punishment. When scientists invented the term “unprotected sex,” this is the evil they had in mind.

10. And most importantly, always leave the condom testing to professionals.

Stumble it!