SKIRMISHER

If you have no idea what kind of stuff 95 percent of the universe is made of, don’t be embarrassed; even mankind’s smartest asses don’t know, either. That’s why they’re building this massive machine (at least 27 kilometers long) deep underground on the Franco-Swiss border to make a little experiment: simulate the Big Bang, nano version.

It’s called the Large Hard-on… er, Large Hadron Collider, and when it’s done by next year, somebody will throw a switch to “reenact” in miniature the events of the Big Bang.

“If the theories are correct, the machine will create tiny black holes that evaporate, and possibly even find particles indicating that the three dimensions known to mankind are just a fraction of those that actually exist.’

“That would be an even bigger headline than the black holes. It could be that there is a whole new universe a millimeter away from our heads, but at right angles to the three dimensions that are here.”

Did they really say the machine can create tiny black holes — those same mysterious things that suck in everything within their reach, which could wipe out the entire planet, including all those ugly, violent, kill-joy people? How cool is that?

via MSNBC

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