What you gon’ do wit all that breast? All that breast inside that shirt?

June 24th, 2008

Adrienne So at Slate hits on an awesome idea: energy-generating bra. Sure, them dancing jugs are nice to look at, so what can be better than actually making them work?

I decided to run the question past some scientists. It turns out that the physics of breast motion have been studied closely for the last two decades by a gamut of researchers, most of them women. LaJean Lawson, a former professor of exercise science at Oregon State University, has studied breast motion since 1985 and now works as a consultant for companies like Nike to develop better sports bra designs. Lawson was enthusiastic about my idea but warned it would be tricky to pull off. You would need the right breast size and the right material, she explained, and the bra itself would have to be cleverly designed. “It’s just a matter of finding the sweet spot, between reducing motion to the point where it’s comfortable but still allowing enough motion to power your iPod,” she said.

Lawson explained that breasts move on three different axes: from side to side, front to back, and up and down. The most motion is generated on the vertical axis. Naturally, the bigger the breast, the more momentum it generates. “Let’s face it—if you’re a double-A marathoner, you’re probably not going to get that iPod up and running,” Lawson said.

[...]

“So you can generate enough energy to power an iPod?” I asked.

“Definitely,” Wang said.

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{Photo: The bacon bra}

{Mad: How to test spectacular fake breasts in Japan}