SKIRMISHER

Cho Seung-hui’s plays (the beefy “Richard McBeef” and the turdish “Mr. Brownstone”) have been made available online for everyone to throw sticks at. The plays paint a marvellous world where stepsons can shove half-eaten banana cereal bars into the mouths of their stepdads, and high school kids spend all their time chatting about ass rape and one old fart’s bowel movement, as can be gleaned from these priceless selected gems:

“Yes. Now, why don’t we go to the bedroom and do it doggy style, just the way you like it, honey-poo.”

“I just said that his name sounds like kidney stone of the ass and that that’s why he is always gruffy and angry. His shit is so thick and so oddly shaped that he can’t go and all his shit are piled up in his intestines all the way up to his chest. He probably rips his sphincter to relieve a single gram of turd after two hours of pushing, sweating, teeth-clenching, screeming in frustration, and holding breath for a half gram of green mold shit.”

Annoy yourself further by clicking here.

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