SKIRMISHER

From the Abstract:

Since Time immemorial, man has sought to explain the powers of KalEl, a.k.a. Superman. Siegel et al. Supposed that His mighty strength stems from His origin on another planet whose density and as a result, gravity, was much higher than our own. Natural selection on the planet of krypton would therefore endow Kal El with more ecient muscles and higher bone density; explaining, to rst order, Superman’s extraordinary powers. Though concise, this theory has proved inaccurate. It is now clear that Superman is actually ying rather than just jumping really high; and His freeze-breath, x-ray vision, and heat vision also have no account in Seigel’s theory.

In this paper we propose a new unied theory for the source of Superman’s powers; that is to say, all of Superman’s extraordinary powers are manifestation of one supernatural ability, rather than a host. It is our opinion that all of Superman’s recognized powers can be unied if His power is the ability to manipulate, from atomic to kilometer length scales, the inertia of His own and any matter with which He is in contact.

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[Image: Bill Gates as Super-duper Man]

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