SKIRMISHER

Below is the top 15 how-tos you can’t live without. Yeah, sure. We wouldn’t survive a day if we didn’t know how to dissect a cow’s eye, would we?

1. How to make a living watching people sleep
2. How to dissect a cow’s eye
3. How to treat a cat with bubonic plague
4. How to tell a North Korean to come out, drop his weapon, stick up his hands, and surrender
5. How to stop sliding down an ice-covered mountain
6. How to use strong magnetic fields to levitate a frog
7. How to watch a chimpanzee kidnapping
8. How to tell whether your alligator is a record-breaking one
9. How to plant a flag on the moon and claim it for America
10. How to conspire to transform the Earth into an actual “Planet of the Apes”
11. How to estimate how long you have before the iceberg you’re surviving on melts
12. How to lose weight by consuming Gila monster saliva
13. How to inform your customers of the hazards of space travel
14. How to learn the history of fascism through stamps
15. How to find a kingdom where Elvis still reigns

The complete list with actual links to the guide here.

{Photo: How to emasculate a cute fairy}

Stumble it!