Kraft’s CoolWhip: A Delicious Blend Of Sugar, Condom Lube, Hemorrhoid Cream, And Lots Of Air

Wired takes one modern foodstuff apart and shows us its inner self.

Water
It’s the main ingredient. But like any whipped product, Cool Whip contains a high percentage of air. At 41 cents per ounce, you’re buying mostly water and air for just over twice what it would cost to whip real cream yourself.

Polysorbate 60
Polysorbates are made by polymerizing ethylene oxide (a precursor to antifreeze) with a sugar alcohol derivative. The result can be a detergent, an emulsifier, or, in the case of polysorbate 60, a major ingredient in some sexual lubricants.

Sorbitan Monostearate
Chemists call this stuff synthetic wax, and it’s sometimes used as a hemorrhoid cream. It’s one of the magical substances that keep Cool Whip from turning to liquid over time in the fridge.

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