SKIRMISHER

Global O-secret signal

Mark Dec. 22, 2006 on your calendar, and choose your favorite member of the opposite sex (preferably one who would be willing to screw with you), as absolutely everyone on Earth is asked to have an orgasm on that very special day.

The Global Orgasm Day, or “peace through collective ecstasy,” is all about saving the planet from weapons of mass destruction. Although the saving part is kind of muddled; I’ve leafed through the official press release, picked out words like “energy fields,” “human energy,” and “Iran,” and I still don’t get how everybody jerking off or having sex all at the same time has anything to do with saving the planet. It would be fun, though. Next thing you know, somebody’s launching a global gangbang day, with well-orchestrated messy events held in city squares and school gyms, and everybody else clapping their hands.

Thanks, Van!

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