SKIRMISHER

Just when you’re already contented with using dry leaves and newspaper clippings to wipe your butt, here’s Japan’s Toto again bringing you another of civilization’s toilet advances with the new portable water spray for that essential post-poop butt-cleaning. It works like a bidet that you can carry around like some fancy water bottle — and if by chance you meet a thirsty stranger, turn them into an instant friend by offering them a drink from it. Just don’t mention you had just used it to clear bits of turd from your hairy sphincter.

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