SKIRMISHER

You are Jenna Jameson, you have huge fake tits, you are aging. So what do you do before hitting the beach?

Remove the fake goddamn puppies and just quit porn.

“When I had implants I felt uncomfortable. I would be shy at the beach. I know it sounds funny, but I’d wear high-necked clothes - unless I was at an adult-film convention. So I thought, ‘Why don’t I be who I am and get my real ones back?’,” she told US magazine Us Weekly.

“Even for women with naturally large boobs, getting a reduction is so freeing. I feel like I can stand up straighter … The first thing I did when I got home was open my bra. I wasn’t supposed to but I did. I was so happy, I cried. It was like looking into the mirror when I was 17.”

Somebody please stop Jenna Jameson from giving us a piece of her mind before some gullible teenage girl specializing in pompoms from Spank Me University follows her lead.

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