SKIRMISHER

Like Karl Szmolinsky, we’re also absolutely dying to know whatever happened to the 12 cute, giant rabbits he had sent to North Korea “for breeding purposes.” He had sold the rabbits at a huge discount (€80 (£54) each rather than the usual €200) to the North Koreans because he wanted to do his part in saving a starving nation, but now he’s afraid the communists have just eaten them.

“I think the animals aren’t alive any more. I was due to go and inspect the animals and look at the facility.

“They kept delaying the trip. I would have liked to go.”

He added that he will no longer export rabbits to the country. “North Korea won’t be getting anything from me any more, they shouldn’t even bother asking.”

If Karl indeed later makes it to North Korea and finds Kim Jong-il with a strange curve of a smile in the corners of his greasy lips, with said rabbits hopping around dressed up in kinky maid attire — and not actually dead — then maybe he’d change his mind and give the communists another chance.

Stumble it!