SKIRMISHER

If you think the slums in Manila or the Cidade de Deus in Rio de Janeiro top the elite list of crime-infested places, maybe the newly released figures by the Vatican’s Justice Department would change your mind. As the smallest independent state in the world, the Vatican has a population of a grand total of 492 people. But in 2006 alone, it had to contend with 341 civil and 486 criminal cases — 1.5 cases per person

So in the quiet words of the Virgin Mary, you’re tempted to ask, “Come again?”

It’s not really as intriguing as it may sound, because most of such crimes were committed by naughty pilgrims and tourists.

…most criminal cases were matters of pickpocketing or purse-snatching. The rest amounted to other petty crimes like fraud and forgery — committed not by kleptomaniacal nuns but by a handful of black sheep among the 18 million pilgrims and tourists who visit St. Peter’s Cathedral, St. Peter’s Square and the Vatican Museums every year. About 90 percent of these crimes go unpunished, which is not a measure of Christian mercy but a sign of the perpetrators’ favorite method of escape. They can break for the border — a few meters away — to Italy.

Even if it did prosecute every pickpocket, the Vatican wouldn’t have room in its jails for so many sinners, since it has no prison system. Criminals sentenced to prison in the Vatican have to serve time in Italy, with costs covered by the papal state.

And because these petty criminals can easily escape as the Italian border is merely a few meters away, the Vatican is in such a dilemma. But don’t worry; Pope Benedict XVI has recently come up with a sure-fire strategy to solve the state’s problem. The said strategy is summed up in one line:

“Let us pray for the maternal protection of the Virgin Mary.”

The Pope’s cunningly brilliant, ain’t he?

via NETSCAPE

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