SKIRMISHER

Just in case you’re so busy you don’t realize it, today is June 6, 2006–or 06-06-06 to the superstition-inclined. Today is also the “official day” this blog is unfurled. Won’t anybody celebrate?

If you remember those rare moments of excitement in Sunday school (whatever that is) when death and prophecy were mentioned to spice things up, Revelations was the book that supplied all that terrifying symbolism. John, its supposed author, was probably living in self-imposed exile in the island of Patmos. He supposedly received the “visions” on some Greek island in the Aegean Sea. And at the center of his supposed revelations was the beast that branded the godless with the number 666.

I always say “supposed” because, to be fair, nobody can really be sure. The guy was probably smoking hashish for all I care, long before it became fashionable. Or maybe the cave’s walls where John pitched his blanket sweated out LSD without him knowing it; after all, ignorance is bliss, and it’s important when you’re writing stuff to frighten the children. And besides, one thing I’ve learned out of watching the entire two seasons of House MD is this: You’ll never know where you’ll get your next hallucination, poison, or bug. So it’s tough luck if you happened to be writing a book on god when the phantoms came; believe me, it messes up everything.

But whatever John was up to, I’d probably have to “thank” him: his notorious number has been spawning interesting fiction for the past two thousand years, the latest of which is probably this very blog post.

So if it’s your birthday today, know this: Don’t believe those nay-sayers. You’ve been lucky, so far, haven’t you? So kiss it. And join us in frightening the kids. It’s a lot more fun today.

666 TUESDAY

Stumble it!