SKIRMISHER

A young girl admires the realistic-looking robot her father regularly screws.

South Korea is currently cooking up a “robot ethics charter” that will hopefully make sure, among many things, that no robot will attempt to sodomize the housewife when nobody’s looking.

The charter is loosely inspired by Isaac Asimov’s “Three Laws of Robotics”:

Asimov’s laws are:

1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm;

2. A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the first law;

3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the first or second law.

Low birth rates and an aging population mean deepening reliance on home robots in the future. And what greater reassurance would be than a nice built-in “Kill Self” feature to allay the fears of old folks that when they issue the normal command “Wipe my ass! Use your tongue!”, the bots would not only meekly follow like soulless lambs, they’d also do it while singing “Amazing Grace” in a soothing falsetto.

Stumble it!