SKIRMISHER

Hundreds of Alberta oil and gas execs paid 50 dollars each to attend a “major announcement” from what they thought was a key player in the US oil industry. Instead, what they got at the Go-Expo Energy Conference in Calgary, Canada was a terrific presentation on “vivoleum” — a new renewable source of energy made from dead bodies of humans who died from global warming.

From Wikipedia:

In the actual speech, the “NPC rep” announced that current U.S. and Canadian energy policies (notably the massive, carbon-intensive exploitation of Alberta’s oil sands, and the development of liquid coal) are increasing the chances of huge global calamities. But he reassured the audience that in the worst case scenario, the oil industry could “keep fuel flowing” by transforming the billions of people who die into oil.

The project, called Vivoleum would work in perfect synergy with the continued expansion of fossil fuel production. The oilmen listened to the lecture with attention, and then lit “commemorative candles” supposedly made of Vivoleum obtained from the flesh of an “Exxon janitor” who died as a result of cleaning up a toxic spill. The audience only reacted when the janitor, in a video tribute, announced that he wished to be transformed into candles after his death, and all became crystal-clear.

Of course, it was a prank, and the pranksters were members of the anti-globalization activist group called The Yes Men, who travel the world pulling pranks at corporate events. If you wanna join these fine folks in their quest for more balls-crushing corporate performances, you can find ‘em here.

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