SKIRMISHER

Nine-year-old Jesse Courtney was shocked — shocked! — when his doctor told him a pair of nice, earwax-slurping spiders had been making a home out of his left ear.

One of the spiders was still alive after the doctor flushed the fourth-grader’s left ear canal.

His mother, Diane Courtney, said her son insisted he kept hearing a faint popping in his ear — “like Rice Krispies” — before the earache sent them to the doctor.

Dr. David Irvine said it looked like the boy had something in his ear when he examined him, but he could not immediately identify it. So he irrigated the ear, and the first spider came out, dead.

The other spider took a second dousing before it emerged, still alive. Both were about the size of a pencil eraser.

Irvine said it was a first for him as a physician.

The kid is now proudly walking around school, wowing girls with the dead spiders in an attempt to make a full headstart in the getting-laid department.

Stumble it!