SKIRMISHER

Wanna know if your beloved unicorn is cheating on you? Christopher Monks has listed the tell-tale signs:

1. Seems emotionally distant and uninterested
2. Wears fancier tail ribbons
3. Starts working out at the gym
4. Quickly closes its laptop when you walk into its enchanted den
5. Credit card bill full of charges to area elf lodges
6. The “three C’s”: confrontation, criticism, and complaints
7. Every time you say the word “magic” it sighs forlornly
8. Is making a movie with Angelina Jolie

That, and other very useful, practical, matter-of-life-or-death lists are contained within the beautifully-bound pages of Mountain Man Dance Moves: The McSweeney’s Book of Lists. You should check it out, especially if you have Paypal or a fancy Credit Card Obsessive-Compulsive Online Purchasing Syndrome (CCOCOPS) and you’re curious about what intelligent, sarcastic things a Koala would say if it could talk, among other fascinating bulleted quips.
via THE WORLD’S FAIR

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