Scientifically Disproving All That God-sanctioned Kitten Slaughter

Devout followers of that ancient saying, “Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten” may have to face a possibly palm-painful reexamination of their much-cherished belief as the Good Reverend says that’s not at all possible: “the average man will be responsible for only two or three kitten deaths in a lifetime of vigorous masturbation.”

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