SKIRMISHER

Zug’s John Hargrave once again asks the Eternal Question: How far could I go before they would check my credit card signature?

It turns out he really, really has to go so very far!

If I remember it correctly, John’s “Credit Card Prank” started with the thesis about credit card signatures as nothing but one of those security measures that are actually like a placebo: they are useless and they don’t work. Kind of reminds you of security guards frisking you at airports and certain malls and universities.

Each time John uses his credit card, he’d sign a name that’s absolute hilarity–signing “Shamu” when paying for entrance at New England Aquarium, “Kris P. Kreme” when at Dunkin’ Donuts, and “Dunkin’ Donuts” when he’s at Krispy Kreme.

And the absolute kicker: John amazingly defies a Time magazine ad about the “4 ways credit card companies protect you from fraud and identity theft.”

In case anybody’s asking, the four golden rules are:

1. “Shred your receipts before you throw them away.”
2. “Don’t leave credit cards in glove compartments.”
3. “Always check your monthly statements. (Criminals will sometimes make a small purchase first, to see if it goes undetected.)”
4. “Notify the Post Office immediately if you change your address. “

And each one of those, John bashes with the power of his “social experiments.”

Experiment 1: “Shred your receipts before you throw them away.”

I bought some pizza at the food court, and used my credit card to pay for it. On the receipt, I scribbled “FOUND THIS IN THE TRASH!” in large black letters. Just in case they didn’t get it, I sketched a picture of a garbage pail. Note the “stink lines” coming off the can, indicating that it is in fact smelly.

The cashiers looked at each other strangely as I snapped my pictures. But I carried an air of confidence, like a seasoned dumpster diver, so they didn’t dare say anything. One of them even moved a package of straws out of my way so I could get a better shot.

Credit card companies protecting us? I guess we can trash that idea.

The conclusion? Nobody cares about your signature, unless you’re trying to purchase really big-ticket items like HDTVs, life-sized Jessica Alba dolls, or Martha Stewart herself (although I wouldn’t know how anybody could use Martha).

THE CREDIT CARD PRANK [ZUG]

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