SKIRMISHER

Meet Sarah — 29 years old, looking for some nice hunk of a man who could pop her cherry before she turns 30 this November. And I’m not talking figuratively; Sarah really wants to lose her virginity so badly she’s turned to chic mag Jane for help.

Everybody just wants to fall in line. Since the Jane mag outing, her blog says she has dated a couple of guys. Seems she’s either the type who’s very finicky with dates (hence, the virginity at 29 thing), or she eats guys alive. Me, I’ll just stay in the sidelines. I don’t really care if she’s a virgin; show me a girl who advertises sex, and I’m instantly turned on. Show me a girl who advertises sex FOR FREE, and I’d just drop dead with my mouth bubbling.

If only girls in our neighborhood (who are not related to me) would just switch to Sarah’s brand of free love, life would be a rolling, frollicking, raunchy good time.

SARAH’s BLOG

LINK via MUSEUM OF HOAXES

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