SKIRMISHER

Adam Baron’s story, “The Man Whose Penis Made Him Locally Famous,” reminds me of one of my favorite daydreams: there’s a beach and all the girls from Miss Universe 1995 standing in line and awaiting their turn to give me terrific blowjobs.

In Baron’s story, all the girls loved sucking him off for one very compelling reason: his dick tastes like chocolate.

That’s gotta be the naughtiest of them naughty plots. Imagine a nerdy geek becoming suddenly hot because of owning a penis that the girls could literally “feast” on. Think Bournville, Swiss, Belgian, and the scientifically proven fact that girls become jelly in the face of succulently, obscenely mouth-watering bar of pure, divinely concocted chocolate. And oh, it’s all about the dick.

Here’s an excerpt:

…She was kissing my mouth. My neck. My chest, my stomach, my….! She stopped.

My God! she said, incredulous. Your cock tastes just like CHOCOLATE!

Melanie (her name) wasn’t a shy girl. She must have told her friend Suzy. I realised this the next day when a very attractive girl, with hip clothes and trainers, approached me in the Union Bar and just started chatting. This had NEVER happened to me before. She asked me if I wanted to hear a new C.D. she’d bought and then we were in her room. Halfway through the second track we were naked. She’d hardly even kissed me before her face disappeared under the duvet.

It does! she exclaimed suddenly. It bloody well does!!

Two weeks into University I was still a virgin. I had, however, received twenty three blowjobs from twelve different girls and heard words such as ‘incredible’, ‘amazing’, ‘Bournville’, ‘Swiss’ and ‘Belgian’ exclaimed by mops of hair beneath my bedclothes. I had also been requested to immerse myself in a glass of milk and move vigorously to see if any of the flavour rubbed off. It didn’t.

THE MAN WHOSE PENIS MADE HIM LOCALLY FAMOUS [SpikeMag]

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