SKIRMISHER

We know many fascinating things about Japan, such as its mouth-watering AV girls, its deeply awe-inspiring racism, its closet otakus, and its compelling hentais. We also know its arguably largest industry is cosmetics — sell something like a product that bleaches women’s nipples, and you’re rich.

But the surprise — we’re surprised enough to admit we’re actually surprised — is that the daily battle for beauty is not only skin deep, but reaches farther down the intestines. Turns out, you’re pretty if your shit also smells pretty, hence the tremendous success of this shit-prettifying product.

“…The Takano Yuri Beauty Clinic sells something called “Etiquette Up,” which proposes to make your insides beautiful. This is accomplished by taking their medicine, which promises to eliminate feces odor. One Tokyo body-aesthetic salon named Grace reportedly “made more than $ 840,000 over a three-year period by giving unauthorized ‘hydro colon cleansing.’ “

We realize it’s just one way of being beautiful inside and out (somebody smart who’s not writing for this blog said that human beauty depends simply on being in the pink of health), but it doesn’t stop us from conjuring wild naughty after-treatment scenarios with this “fecal cosmetic”: is it fair to assume that those who use it don’t really flush after taking a dump; maybe their crap is so beautiful it compels them to gaze at it and call it cute names, like “Little Dumpling.”

JAPANESE BEAUTY DOESN’T COME EASILY [Japan Times]

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