SKIRMISHER

“According to evolutionary scientists like David Buss, women want men who express alpha status,” says Carney, simultaneously enlightening me and dashing my hopes forever. “Research indicates that perceived dominance is expressed through using a loud voice, speaking a lot, making eye contact, touching, taking up lots of space, and successfully interrupting others.”

For a soft-spoken, 140-pound, 5′8” man-boy like myself, this isn’t the news I’d been dying to hear. I take up very little space, and continually interrupting others has, in the past, yielded only a fat lip.

“Should a non-alpha-type male just lower his expectations?” I ask.

“No, not at all,” she says in a comforting tone. “Women are also attuned to a man’s intelligence, which indicates potential resource stability. This can be expressed through being engaged when another person is talking, nodding one’s head, and making ‘back-channel’ comments like ‘Ah, I see,’ ‘Yeah,’ and ‘Oh.’ Engagement is also expressed by making lots of eye contact and asking questions.”

“Ah, I see,” I say, nodding and making lots of eye contact. “So what is a man attuned to in a woman’s behavior?”

“Well, there are ‘immediacy behaviors’ that are predictive of affiliation, intimacy, and interest,” she says. “They include (1) gazing in your general direction, (2) making mutual eye contact, (3) smiling, and (4) establishing closer physical proximity. You also want to pay close attention to her baseline demeanor — that is to say, notice whether you see a change in her behavior when she becomes aware of you.

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