SKIRMISHER

Of course, having a boob job is “expensive” for the ordinary flat-chested girl. But what if you win in the amazing national New Boobs contest? Which was exactly what happened with Sarah Jane Pippard, and this is her story that we shamelessly stole from the ever-reliable, exceedingly respectable, 10-million-percent factual The Sun.

I can’t believe it. I’m in Malta and in 24 hours I’ll be going under the knife to have new boobs.

I’m so excited. I’ve suffered with a barely there 34AA chest my whole life and now just three days after my 24th birthday I’ll be getting what I’ve always wanted – a bouncing cleavage that will finally fill a bra.

…

I wanted a natural shape with a nice lift - big, but not Jordan big.

An hour later, we decided on taking me from a 34AA up to a 334D cup. That’s perfect for my 5ft 9in height and size ten body.

The surgeon gave me chicken fillets in the right shape to fit into my bra.

Eyeing myself up in the mirror my skin tingled. My new boobs are going to look amazing.

…

My surgeon worked for 90 minutes carefully cutting under the cup of each boob.

Next he slipped in the 390ccs saline implants, fitting them underneath the muscle to give me the most natural shape possible.

Finally, he stitched me up neatly and supported my new boobs with surgical tape.

I woke up a few hours later woozy and confused.

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