SKIRMISHER

Film critics maybe had a hard time controlling their hard-ons after Scarlett Johansson’s steamy romp with Josh Hartnett in the new Brian de Palma film, The Black Dahlia. Desperate to hide the tell-tale signs of human sexual arousal (which is Scarlett Johansson territory), dismissing the sex scene as an “unecessary distraction” is probably the only thing critics could do to deflect attention from their own “raging” erections, uncontrollable sweating, and the sudden urge to seek the sanctuary of a soundproofed cubicle.

Egotastic snarkily observes:

“Now, let me get this straight. The critics don’t want to see Scarlett Johansson getting all hot and sweaty on a 30-foot screen? They think that sort of thing ruins a movie? What they’re not saying is that they basically couldn’t get their hard-ons under control, and probably had to sit very awkwardly for the rest of the screening.”

Tsk. Exactly my point. Saying no to something as amazing as Scarlett without the clothes on is Just. Simply. Insane. If we want fully-clothed, polite characters saying hello to each other endlessly on screen, let’s all settle watching Oprah and skip the rest of the universe.

LINK via EGOTASTIC

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