SKIRMISHER

We have no idea who Missbehavin is, or if indeed she is some hot female and not one of those morbidly overweight male goat hustlers in Kansas, but this list of 9 things about enjoying incredible sex made us slap our foreheads upon realizing that we were also guilty of repeatedly asking our partners “Who’s yo’ Daddy? Who’s yo’ Daddy?” That was bad.

As she says:

1.) This may come as a shock, but all girls do not like oral ALL THE TIME. Sometimes, if I’m wet from you already turning me on in a million ways, I don’t want to deal with you down there shaking your head like a wet dog and riding out the hormone fest till it is all but invisible. If you have done everything right, and you probably have if I’m naked, then slip a finger down there, stroke the right spots for a minute, then put yourself in me. Sometimes, I just want to be filled up. Don’t beat around the bush so to speak.

2.) I’m not a prissy girl. I’m not a prude. But please don’t assume I like you licking, rubbing, poking at, or investigating in any way, my ass hole. Honestly, there is nothing LESS sexy to me than anal sex. Have I participated it it before? With the assistance of my trusty friend Bacardi 151…yes. Did I enjoy it? From what I can remember , no. Would I endure it again…probably….but not if I just met you or am not in love with you. Don’t bother asking. Or “accidentally” doing anything with that hole unless I have given you a million watt green light.

3.) I’m not glass…so please…don’t think I have a desire to be coddled and delicately touched. Tenderness is great. I love it. It’s awesome to start kissing sowly and being sweet and gentle. If we get going though…and i’m grabbing at your belt and kissing you harder…grinding harder…feel free to get in on the more agressive action. Pull my hair, dig your fingers into my sides and ass, bite my lip, my nipples, do something exciting! Don’t just kiss me like I’m a little girl. Sheesh. Don’t give me all that “I don’t want to hurt you” crap. You won’t hurt me. And if you are so concerned about pain, bring it up when trying to engage in Number 2 (above). Talk about pain. Ugh.

The rest of the list is here.

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