SKIRMISHER

What University of Arizona Professor Charles Gerba recently found out was different from the ordinary cubicle dweller’s knowledge of how the modern world runs. Based on an expensive, USD 40,000 Clorox Co.-commissioned study, Gerba determined that women have “three to four times the number of bacteria in, on, and around their desks, phones, computers, keyboards,” and other things their dirty hands touch.

Women’s desks typically looked cleaner, but the knickknacks are more abundant, and cosmetics and hand lotions make prime germ-transfer agents, Gerba said. Makeup cases also are excellent germ homes, along with phones, purses and desk drawers.

Desk drawers containing food also are welcome mats for lots of microorganisms. Gerba found 75 percent of women had munchies in their desks.

“I was really surprised how much food there was in a woman’s desk,” he said. “If there’s ever a famine, that’s the first place I’ll look for food.”

This is a shocking and alarming discovery that can potentially sap the life out of the garden varierty office male, especially if you’re into the common officeworker habit of waiting for your female colleague to go to the watercooler so that you can quickly rifle through her deskdrawer for some unwashed panties, which you usually smother your face with after lunch.

Gerba’s findings are troubling enough that it may stop men from doing the very things that inspire them to go to work everyday.

Fortunately, a possible solution may come in the form of an astutely phrased office memo [with due consideration for the sensitive feelings of the womenfolk] that gives women the “requisite” option of not being allowed to use desks, phones, and other knickknacks entirely, or they may come to work but they must leave everything they wear and carry by the office door [the company may be legally entitled to provide blankets). The said memo may even end with a thoughtful suggestion of using the 60-second vaginal shave, just to make the female addressees feel that they are, as always, as if important members of the modern work force.

via XINHUA

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