SKIRMISHER

If you’re one of those who silently gaped in awe as Troy Hurtubise unveiled to the world his “Trojan” armor, which seemed to have been plucked straight from the cesspool of any sci-fi fan’s wet dream, and secretly wept knowing that the $2,000 suggested retail price might be too much to take from the money jar you regularly reserve for your cocaine/cat food habit, now fate has played an even more sinister twist that will surely pull your heart-schadenfreude-strings. Because weeks after the global media attention and practically zero serious buyers, Troy’s Trojan is now up for auction on eBay.

Apparently, the world was excited, but excitement without the cash is not enough.

“Other than the media, I haven’t received one call from anybody. It broke my heart. Honest to God.”

The hardest part for Hurtubise is trying to understand how an idea that seemed so good just couldn’t get off the ground.

“It’s not some foolish fridge-magnet type of thing. The need is there.”

But now, instead of a defence contract, today Troy is holding an eviction notice. He and his wife of 16 years, Lori, and their son, Brett, 14, will have to be out by the end of the month.

The eBay auction even involves Troy surrendering to the successful bidder the special formula he used to create the Trojan’s proprietary “shadow armor.” If one fuck-up leads to another greater one, expect the great armor inventor working behind the counters at some friendly fast-food joint, advising kids on how to cut down their fat intake to be able to fit in some cool bomb-proof suit lying around somewhere.

HAMILTON SPECTATOR via REDDIT

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