SKIRMISHER

Yes, this big, red, shiny clunky thing is a pricey mobile phone at $500. Tri-band, lithium-ion battery, presumably heavy as a brick, and with a ring that’s not digital but an authentic metal bell — all to transport you back to a romantic place and time when human beings used carrier pigeons to say “Fuck off” to one another. The user manual recommends carrying it around when you feel the need to alienate humanity by creating the false impression of you being a Richard Collier sort of jackass who simply couldn’t live without screaming into the receiver of a giant shiny red thing. Also best used when attending job interviews; the professional impression you’d make is priceless. Especially when you have no other point to make.

LINK via OHGIZMO

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