SKIRMISHER

Who says religious missionaries can’t be cool? God, through a company called MegaVoice, has sent direct instructions to mere mortals for the design and manufacture of a device to “combat” the creeping domination of The Job of the Devil (also known as “Apple’s iPod”) and all its wannabes. Whereas The Evil iPod works by transforming people into walking zombies trapped in their own bubbles of filthy modern noise, MegaVoice’s Ambassador (that’s what God’s device is called) works by spreading the word of God and aiding in the communication process by making humans “human” again.

The Red Ferret Journal explains the Ambassador’s specs:

“A self-contained digital audio player which uses a proprietary compression technology to store 160 hours of non-editable voice and music. Solar panel on the back to recharge the internal batteries, and speaker and headphone socket. Uses? Well apparently it’s being used specifically for heavy duty missionary work around the world, where folks listen good, but read bad. So that explains why you can’t alter, edit or otherwise mess with the contents, eh?”

LINK via THE RED FERRET

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