SKIRMISHER

* You had them slutty pink, now Motorola’s RAZR gets tattooed to help you show the world how tough you are. Nobody’s going to steal your lunchbox ever again.

* Vertu, maker of the world’s most obscenely priced mobile phones, takes pity of the gadget-loving poor by releasing Constellation. Good news for the Third World: now there’s a choice between buying fish and snapping up one of these very desirable harbingers of the I’m Better Than You mentality. A deep, rich sense of exclusivity is always a nice reason to forego boring things like food.

* 12 very useful, life-saving, must know facts about Nokia phones.

* If you’re hot and desirable and the only hobby you’ve ever had is evading rapists, here’s one pepper spray to do it in style.

* Whoever can play this guitar may be allowed to touch Eddie Van Halen’s ear.
* If you’re one of those people who treat iPods like their own kid, here’s a website to give it a nice name, like “Electronic Ass Wipe.” Also, handcarved iPod stands for the discriminating enthusiast.

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