SKIRMISHER

Ronald Miller, 56, was caught recently doing something that’s really indescribably fun that we just have to quote the actual report from the responding police officer.

I approached the residence on foot. I could clearly see through the open front door, the male white, later identified as Ronald Miller, lying on his sofa inserting an item, later identified as a claw hammer covered with a plastic bag into his rectum while completely naked. He had some lubricant on his genital area and buttocks which we later learned was motor oil.

Officers entered the home and observed Miller didn’t acknowledge our presence until we addressed him. He removed the hammer from his anus and sat upright but didn’t say anything. When I told him he was under arrest for public indecency, he asked me for another chance, that I give him a break.

And it just gets weirder and weirder.

{Photo: Naked dude on the beach, his testicles whispering in sing-song}

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