SKIRMISHER

Ronald Kuch is a lover of many things in life, so that when his girlfriend’s dog died, he couldn’t bear the idea of burying this fine animal — so he sodomized it.

Kuch is accused of sexual contact with the carcass of his girlfriend’s dog on Oct. 20, about a week after the animal had been hit by a car.

The alleged crime occurred near a Day Care Centre on a school day.

The teacher was leading an Animal Control officer to the dead dog so he could dispose of it when the pair discovered Kuch, who allegedly scuffled with the officer before fleeing into the woods.

While the local judge and Kuch’s lawyer is arguing over whether Kuch has violated some law forbidding people to consummate their desires with inanimate, partially decomposed objects, it might be a nice humanitarian gesture if you’d care to send some “sexually arousing” roadkill to Kuch’s lonely cell; that would make the old chap very happy.

via METRO

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