SKIRMISHER

This eight-year-old kid is a ruthless badass you don’t wanna meet. At least, in the Halo universe.

Victor De Leon, known as Lil Poison in the fiercely competitive fragging circles on Xbox Live, is so good at blasting enemies’ faces and finishing them off with savage riflebutt attacks that he’s traveling to seven US cities in the first-ever televised videogame competition (available on the USA Network).

And if there’s anything this Wired write-up indicates, it’s that Lil Poison only needs to refine his trash-talking skills to be fully at par with all those other serious motherfuckers. It’s his daddy’s job now to teach the kid some effectively disorienting language to frighten foes to submission even before they mash the controls. So his daddy might have to give the kid some very positive first lessons, something along the lines of: “Fuck you, motherfucker. After I’m done with you, you preening poseur, ‘hell’ would sound like ice cream to your bleeding ears. So see you in motherfucking hell.”

Yeah, I know. It’s a demanding job for a parent.

via WIRED

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