SKIRMISHER

* US Sen. Larry Craig’s new song, “I am SO not gay” becomes a hit in airport restrooms everywhere

* The Burning Man burns — five days early and contrary to everyone’s expectations.

* Hell hath no fury than a rock-tossing woman scorned.

* Ludwig van Beethoven was unknowingly killed by his doctor with lead poisoning.

* Rape victim arranges a job interview for her assailant, inspires future rapists.

* German teenage sleepwalker falls out of a 4th-floor window, and continues sleeping. Some people just wouldn’t die.

* The missing key that sank the Titanic is for sale — hopefully to bring loads of luck into your own life.

* Austrian teenager Robert A tries to convince the police that when you quarrel with your roommate, the best course of action is eating him.

Stumble it!